I was really annoyed with my dad yesterday (Thursdays are my one-day-a-week-i-still-work-for-my-dad-day)… we in the car, and Peter phones me to vent about a meeting he just had. You know those times you are so pissed off, you just have to vent at someone who will listen… ja, thats what he needed to do. So I make all the appropraite noises and comments “Oh no!” … “Shame man!” … “That’s not good”… etc.

My dad asks me what that was about… Now, I don’t actually know the 100% full story, as the phone convo was about 2 minutes… so i tell my dad (something along the lines)  “It was Peter, he’s unhappy with work, some meeting went really badly and he’s annoyed”…

so my dad turns around and says to me “Shame man, you must be his shoulder to cry on and listen to his troubles. He needs a strong woman to stand behind him” … and goes on a little more (I switched off).

I was angry.

Firstly… I think our relationship is pretty good… especially lately… we listen, we talk, we support, we advise… note i say WE and not *I*. This is the 21st century! *I* as a female also need support from my partner! Which i get! I view us as equals… I don’t ever wanna stand BEHIND any man… I believe we should stand next to each other. Chicks have just as much stress in their lives these days – it’s not all about bending over backwards to be the quiet supportive wifey in the background. Some days Peter needs me to support him, and other days I need him to be there for me… we do it together, for each other.

Last night i told him that my dad said i must be a strong woman for him… so, peter looks at me funny and says “If you were any stronger, i wouldnt be able to handle you!” … lol. :)

do you agree/disagree? To the chicks – do you want to be the quiet support pillar BEHIND your man? Or is this the day of equality and fairness?

This is probably gonna be my wedding present from my dad!

Found this online… should we all print it out and memorise it to better partners?


  • Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed. (sometimes i get home after peter… and i am freaking starving!!)
  • Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift. (Be a little gay…? ok, ja. That should spice things up!)
  • Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the home just before your husband arrives, gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too. (ok – this one i DO sometimes try and do… coz it IS horrible to come home to a messy house – when i come home late, i would love the same courtesy!! – which i do sometimes get! Go Equality)
  • Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. (lol – they are little treasures! Luckily the beagles are quite easy to keep clean)
  • Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad he is home. (Um… how are you meant to be preparing dinner, and having thigs clean without any noise?… just give the dude earplugs I say!)
  • Some don”s: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind. (if you want this kind of treatment, I can highly recommend Mangwanani – they are awesome)
  • Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. (Ok… who talks first is no big deal to me… so sure. you can have this one — unless I have something REALLY exciting to say!)
  • Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax. (hellooooo i have pressure too….!)
  • The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. (Like I said… Mangwanani, dude)

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